


Chasing Ghosts

by Tieflingfemme



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Minor Character Death, Post-Shooting Star (Overwatch), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Canon, Slow Burn, ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tieflingfemme/pseuds/Tieflingfemme
Summary: Hana Song copes with her issues horribly. Yuna Lee doesn't know how to discuss her feelings about anything. MEKA might be a scam by the military industrial complex, the world might be ending, and Hana Song might be falling in love with the girl who used to be her best friend, again.





	1. Phasmophobia

 

It had been 8 days since the last Gwishin attack. 8 long days and nights of paranoia and panic around Busan, with every eye carefully surveilling the sky every other moment. 8 days of Hana Song listening to her superiors and her friends alike berated her carelessness, all while all the news outlets in the country endlessly gushed over her “bravery.” 

As per usual, she tuned them out, disappearing into the MEKA hangar for hours and hours every day since her release. Even before her own replacement mech arrived she buried her nose in tech readouts, strategic theories, and attack patterns. Anything that could give her an edge in the next attack was poured over multiple times, no matter how speculative. 

This particular night had been, like many others, unremarkable and frustrating. There were no new targeting software updates, nothing to tinker with on Tokki’s hardpoints, no new hypotheses in the next Gwishin. Nothing to distract her from the gnawing panic that always settled at the base of her spine nowadays. Nothing to distract from the clock ticking ever closer to sunrise either. 

She was about to reread the manual on the fusion cannons for the fifteenth time when she heard the door to the hangar slide open. She spun around, wrench in hand and ready to strike at… something, before she saw who stood in the doorway. 

Yuna Lee wore her trademark scowl, piercing even through the bags under her eyes. Her usually sleek black hair was matted and unruly, and the burns on her cheeks were still a stark white against her face. Burns Hana could have prevented. Had she been faster, smarter, a better pilot…

“Its 4:02 in the morning Hana, you should be resting.” 

“Can’t sleep.” was all Hana offered back. It was true, she hadn’t slept more than a few hours since her first night in the hospital, and every time since had been fitful and sporadic. 

Yuna remained stone faced. “Do you think you passing out in the middle of a fight because you didn’t sleep will be at all helpful to us.” 

“No but-”

“Then rest.”

Hana searched for some excuse. Her commanding officer was telling her to sleep, and it was probably an order she should follow (not that she was particularly known for that). 

She made to move past Yuna when she felt a hand on her arm. 

“You understand that doing the same ‘research’ in your room until you pass out isn’t resting.” 

Hana groaned, “What exactly do you want me to do, _sir_ ?” she motioned to the sea beyond the hangar entrance, “Do you want to be unprepared _again_? We have no idea when they’re going to come next, or even what’s coming anymore, I can’t just sit around and wait!” 

Yuna raised an eyebrow and sighed but gave no response. She walked away from Hana and toward the entrance, gazing out into the ocean. She stayed silent for some time, only frustrating Hana more. 

She hadn’t spoken to Yuna since she was in the hospital, and even then only briefly. Lieutenant Yuna Lee coming to check in on a soldier under her command, not someone who used to be her best friend making sure she was okay. That in itself had been the longest conversation she and Yuna had since before the last major attack. 

It made Hana want to scream. 

Nevertheless, Yuna seemed blind to her companions frustration, and kept walking further into the hangar, up to her hoverbike. She ran a hand over the tarp covering it before gently uncovering it. She gave a small, and short lived smile, before finally turning to Hana. 

“If you’re not going to sleep, wanna go for a ride?”

Hana blinked in surprise. “Who I what?” 

Yuna rolled her eyes, “You’re not going to let yourself rest no matter what I say, so do you want to go for a ride?” she patted the hoverbike. 

Hana cursed herself before nodding, of course she did. Of course she would go along.

 

* * *

 

She tried to stay mad at Yuna, she really did. But with her face buried in Yuna’s jacket, and her arms wrapped around her waist as they flew alongside the Busan coastline, all she could focus on were the rapid beats of her stupid, stupid heart. 

She had _intended_ to turn Yuna down. To march off in a huff to her room and shun Yuna for a few days at least. But her petty fantasies were lost in the wind grasping at her hair and the smell of the ocean filling her lungs. She was so damn happy in this moment that she could forget that terror she felt when looking into the sea. 

It was dangerous, being this happy, and part of Hana screamed at her to stop. That this must call on some force of fate to make her miserable again. Or worse, that this might stir _those_ old feelings, something Hana did her very best to ignore. 

After what felt like hours just flying over the water, Yuna pulled over at the ruins of an old observation deck. It was one of many such places in Busan nowadays, just another wrecked tourist attraction, but to Hana and Yuna it was an old hideaway. It had been their refuge during their esports days, being just far enough from urban Haeundae to be quiet, and just close to run right back when needed. 

Hana stepped off the hoverbike slowly, spellbound in nostalgia. Yuna followed, setting her helmet on the bikes handles and going to lean on one of the intact bits of railing. 

Hana couldn’t help but laugh to herself, it was such a familiar scene. She could practically feel the old rush of a match that always preceded them coming here. With a huff Yuna would always look out into the ocean beyond, _always such a drama queen._

Hana would sit and watch as the D.mon mask slipped away, and her friend would come out, quiet as ever, but still warm and kind. 

Now, Hana had no such certainty. She had no clue where or what that mask looked like anymore, on either of them. As far as she could tell, Yuna was still Lieutenant Lee.

“Why didn’t you tell me before you left.” 

Once again Yuna shattered the silence between them, and left Hana stunned. Of course she knew what she meant, but what on earth could she _say._

“I…” 

_… had to._

_… needed to stop them._

_… was scared._

_… wasn’t thinking._

_… wanted to die._

“... Don’t know.” 

Yuna turned to face her, still leaning on the railing, and directed that same old glare right at her. She wasn’t buying it, and that look caused Hana’s gut to curl and burn with guilt. 

Hana plopped onto the ground next to the bike and pulled her knees to her chest. She fixed her eyes anywhere but at Yuna as they began to sting. 

_Dammit! Don’t cry now please don’t cry now,_

“I’m sorry, I don’t know-” Her voice sputtered and cracked as tears rolled down her cheeks, “I’m sorry.” 

Yuna sighed and took a seat next to Hana. She still didn’t speak, but this time there was no oppressive silence. It was an invitation. A gentle one, for whenever Hana was ready. 

“I really don’t know Yuna, I don’t. It just seemed like the only option.” Hana croaked, wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “D.va needed to do something.”

Hana didn’t dare look at Yuna, and nearly jumped when she felt a sudden weight on her shoulders. Yuna draped her jacket tightly around Hana, and bore an expression that she couldn’t decipher. It wasn’t neutral, it wasn’t upset, it was just _there._

Hana couldn’t devote much brainpower to it though, as the warmth of Yuna’s jacket and her dearth of proper sleep caused her to start drifting off. 

Faintly, she felt herself be pulled back onto the hoverbike, Yuna holding her in place. 

Fainter still, she could feel _those_ feelings stirring again, causing her sleep deprived heart to beat just a little too fast. She worried that someone, over the engine of the hoverbike, Yuna could her that frantic beat. That somehow, the whisper of old hopes would leap from Hana’s head and into Yuna’s. 

Those stupid, stupid feelings. 


	2. Poltergeist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad Habits.

“Fourteen type 5 Gwishin approaching, eta thirty seconds.” a simulated voice boomed out to the assembled MEKA squad. Far in front of them, fourteen hard light constructs of the same Gwishin Hana had fought nine days prior. 

Yuna’s voice immediately followed the simulated one, belting out orders to her teammates as they frantically took positions. “King, Hwacha protocol, keep their targeting occupied. Casino, limit fire to bandits below 15% shields, stay out of range. Overlord, run disruption but don’t linger. D.va, keep your matrix ready and cover our long range. I’m going in.”

The air around them exploded into frenzied combat. Even simulated, the sight and sound of the Gwishin sent a chill down Hana’s spine. The deep robotic wails of automated monsters rang louder than her own fusion canons. 

It took all of her concentration not to slip into memory. Fourteen came, down to eleven, still headed toward the city. King was out of rockets and Casino was forced to reposition and recalibrate. Hana’s defense matrix was on recharge and Overlord had 3 Gwishin on his tail. 

Panic began to grip Hana as tightly as she gripped the controls of her mech, halfway between pushing forward and hanging on. A haze fell over her eyes and the hard light constructs became harder and harder to distinguish from the real thing. The chatter of her teammates pricked at her skin and the screams of the simulated Gwishin rang in her skull. 

An alarm came from her display, as Yuna’s sim-shields went down. 

_“I’m hit!”_

Hana shook her head and took aim at another sim-Gwishin, blasting it in half. _Come on D.va, focus, it's not real, she’s fine, it’s just a drill, we’re all fine. Only ten more._

Nine, D.mon tore through another with her mechs blade. 

Seven, Casino knocked two out of the sky, but had to pull out, too damaged. 

Six… no five, Overlord took out two of the Gwishin on his tail, but had to land, his engine “destroyed.”

 Another alarm from her display. Yuna’s shield was offline, the sim-Gwishin converged on her. 

_Rain beat at D.va’s cockpit, the massive type one Gwishin seemed to dominate the entire sky._

_She heard Yuna yell before seeing her mech drop out of the air…_

Hana gripped her controls and charged the Gwishin, fusion cannons ripping through the Gwishin in her way. Her display flashed red as her shields strained and rippled under the full attention of the Gwishin, but she ignored it. 

“D.va! Disengage! You’re taking too much heat!” She heard Yuna bark over the comms, she ignored that too. One fusion cannon dropped limp, deactivated by sim-damage. 

Three more. 

The remaining Gwishin whipped around her, spraying her mech with hard light bolts. Her shields fell, and the simulated armor integrity began to plummet. 

Two more. 

Yuna was yelling at her to retreat, yelling just like before, Hana couldn’t tell the difference. 

One more. 

Her second cannon arm drooped, deactivated. Hana almost laughed. She diverted her remaining defense power to boosters, and charged. 

Her mech plowed right through the last Gwishin, the hard light bending and falling apart, fizzling out into floating pixels. Hana’s display went completely red, a single message splayed out over the UI: **MECH COMPROMISED. PILOT DECEASED.**

The bizarre urge to laugh came again, followed by a deep nausea stirring in her gut. 

_This is becoming a habit, huh?_

 

* * *

 

There was no radio chatter as the team returned to the hangar. Only quiet and solemn banter between pilots as they dismounted. 

“Alright team, not bad for our first drill on the new types.” Yuna called out to the assembled pilots. “Kwon, Hann, Shi, you’re dismissed. Song-” Hana winced, she hated when Yuna called her that. “-You stay right here.” 

The rest of the team filed out of the hangar, a few shooting her sympathetic looks as they passed her. Once the last was out, Yuna turned her full attention to her. Hana had seen her mad of course, but seldom had she ever seen her so  _ furious,  _ especially at  _ her.  _

“Do you mind telling me what the hell that was?” Yuna had her arms folded, her eyes wide, that damn glare practically burned into her face. 

“I completed the mission,  _ sir. _ ” Hana could hardly keep the frustration out of her own voice. 

“Is this a game to you? Are you intent on compromising our drills? Where the hell is that ‘we need to be prepared’ bullshit now?” 

“With all due respect,” Hana practically spat the words, “I did what I had to.” 

“So you mean to tell me that if the Gwishin attacked right now, you would do exactly what you’ve done today?” 

Hana gave no response, only returning a cold scowl Yuna’s way. She knew the answer, and frankly she didn’t care about the implications. 

Yuna sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine, fine.” she turned her back to Hana, “You’re dismissed, but this isn’t over. I’ll be at the firing range at 18:00, I’d like you to be there too.” 

Hana rolled her eyes, “Is that an order?”

Yuna shot her an expression that she couldn’t make sense of. Her lips twitched and pressed into a thin line, her eyebrows scrunched in what she assumed to be anger, but her eyes… 

Hana didn’t know what to make of that. Yuna’s dark grey eyes were so so familiar to her, but she couldn’t parse them now, for the second time in as many days. All she could say was that even now they made her heart beat a little faster, and she had to remind the damn thing that she was  _ mad at Yuna.  _

She would be at the firing range though. Of course she would, but she would still be furious. 

_ Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  _

 

* * *

 

“20 shots fired, 16 targets hit, 80% accuracy.” A simulated voice spoke into Hana’s headphones. 

She slammed another clip into her pistol, and sighted downrange. 

“Again.”

Several balls of hard light began moving around the range, blinking and faintly buzzing as they did so. 

_ What are we doing here Hana. _

Hana took in a shaky breath and fired. 

“20 shots fired, 14 targets hit, 70% accuracy.”

Another clip, followed by a grunt of annoyance. The handle was warm in her hands as she aimed again. 

“Again.”

_ Why am I waiting for her? I know she’s just gonna spout a calmer version of what she said earlier. Who cares? _

“20 shots fired, 11 targets hit, 55% accuracy.”

Hana grimaced, and shoved in another clip. Her hands shook as she aimed. 

“Again.”

_ This is pointless! You’re being an idiot! Let’s just go play that weird new rpg or something! Maybe even do a stream again, haven’t done that in forever.  _

She flinched at every missed shot, scowling at every hard light orb that danced away. 

“20 shots fired, 8 targets hit, 40% accuracy.” 

She made to jam in another clip, missing the slot several times before getting it in. 

“Dammit. Again.”

_ Just something? Something fun, distracting, anything to make our dumbass stop thinking about… stuff.  _

“20 shots fired, 4 targets hit, 20% accuracy.” 

Hana sighed and eyed the other clips laid out on the shelf in front of her. After a moment she set them aside, deactivated her pistol, and holstered it. Only after storing the munitions in her locker did she notice Yuna leaning against the wall by the door. 

“Stop sneaking up on me!” Hana said, only partly annoyed, “How long have you been standing there?”

Yuna shrugged, “Not long.” 

She’d changed out of her mech suit (she always hated the suits, or anything that clung to her too tightly) and had changed into a black tank top, military fatigues, and combat boots. Hana knew that they were all technically soldiers but even now it was weird seeing when Yuna actually dressed like one. It didn’t hurt that Yuna had bulked up significantly since they joined MEKA, and the tank top hid none of the define muscle on her arms and…

_ Stop it, stop, that’s gross Hana, you’re mad at her. Come on.  _

“Is all this going to start being a habit, Hana?”

“All of what?”  _ Dumb question, but please let it be anything else. Let’s talk about anything else.  _

“How you’re acting out there .  This, this… recklessness.”  _ Dammit.  _

“I don't know what to tell you, D.va’s gotta take risks.”

“Well, she’s going to get herself killed.” 

Hana scoffed, “ _ She’ll  _ be fine. Besides, it was just a drill. If it was real I could have just ejected or something.”

“Because that went so well last time.”

“Yeah, it turned out pretty okay if you ask me. 1v5 in a surprise attack and I beat them, because D.va knows her shit.” 

Yuna rolled her eyes and began pacing the room. This was going nowhere, completely unsurprisingly. 

“What happens when D.va gets in over her head, if she didn’t eject in time, if someone wasn’t there to catch her? What happens to Busan? To MEKA? To…” 

Yuna looked and gestured around before trailing off. 

“That’s what this is always gonna be about, huh?” Hana’s voice was low, almost threatening.  _ Fuck Yuna, fuck MEKA, fuck everything of course that’s what this about. And you know what? Fuck me for thinking it was going to be anything else. Stupid, stupid, stupid! _

Yuna stopped pacing and looked up, right at her. Arms still crossed, face rigid, but eyes perplexed. “What?” 

“Could you clear something up for me Yuna? I’m kinda confused.” There was venom in Hana’s voice now, surprising even her, and shocking Yuna. 

“I suppose so?”

Hana’s eyes began to sting, and a part of her willed her to not speak the next few words, but she was  _ D.va.  _ D.va doesn’t back down.

“Every time you start up on one of these talks, what do you really care about here? Is it Junior Lieutenant Song the soldier? Or is it D.va the celebrity.” Hana’s voice cracked, because why wouldn’t it, and she cursed it, but let her words lie. 

Yuna looked struck, and then furious, more so even than before.

“As it turns out, my  _ concern  _ is Hana Song the fucking idiot.” Yuna’s voice rose and fell. She shot Hana a look that bored right into her heart, and then she stormed out of the range. Hana listened to her boots stomping against the floor until they were out of earshot, before quickly making her way to her room, holding her tears back as long as she could. 

She barely made it before they all came spilling out. Stupid things, accompanied by sobs that shook her whole chest. She placed a hand over her mouth to mute them, and cursed herself a thousand times over. 

_ Stupid Hana. Stupid, stupid Hana. Is this what you wanted? Because if she didn’t hate you before, she sure does now. And you’re dumb ass still can’t stop feeling like this every time you see her.  _

_ You’re disgusting. You make me sick.  _

_ Why on earth do you have to be like this? Why did you have to go and do that? Why?  _

She had no answers, and the questions buzzed around her head like mosquitoes. Taking little bites here and there, sucking a little more from her each time, as she forced herself into a dreamless sleep. 


	3. Goetia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories.

The next few days were fraught with a tension that gripped the entire base. Yuna and Hana actively avoided one another, and the team only pretended not to notice. Every conversation felt like it was so gingerly stepping around the elephant in the room; it was exhausting.

As a result, Hana spent as much time as possible in her room. She didn’t have the stomach for streams or public appearances, and the media naturally devolved into speculation that she must be on some secret mission, that MEKA was gearing up for something big.

In reality, she’d been binge watching shitty romantic period pieces just about all day, only crying through most of each one. Extra points for any that had conflicts between old friends.

_God I’m pathetic._

In her sentimental mood, she found herself scrolling through old pictures between movies. Eventually that became the day, thumbing through the older picture libraries on her phone, the one that had no carefully posed social media stuff in it. All personal pictures, some that stung more than others.

The first that really stopped her in her tracks was unsurprising, a clumsily taken selfie of the whole team, right as they got out of basic. They were all in fatigues, all grimy and gross from training, but smiling regardless. Even Yuna had a bright smile on her, something Hana would kill to see again.

She knew the nostalgia that swelled up in her chest for the liar it was. She and Yuna had fought then too, over MEKA, over the future, but they _talked._ The distance seemed just a little more surmountable, just a little less daunting.

In a terrifying moment, it struck her how recent it all was, only a year since she’d gotten the call.

 

* * *

 

_12/2/2075_

“You’re doing _what?_ ” Yuna was incredulous, it was as if Hana had told her she intended to saw off her own arm.

“I know it’s kinda crazy, but I don’t know, it feels important.” Hana replied a little sheepishly. It was motivated by more fear than duty, and they both knew as much, but that was nothing she would admit. Only a few months earlier, the Gwishin had come again, and she had huddled in her and Dae-hyun's apartment as rogue omnics tore through Busan's streets for days on end. Enough was enough, and no one else seemed to be doing anything.

“Important sure, but we’re talking about war! And it’s beyond sketchy!” Yuna sighed and absentmindedly ran a hand through her hair. “Doesn’t it seem at least kinda weird that they need to hire gamers specifically? We’re not qualified to do much of anything and they want us to go to war?”

Hana scoffed, but nodded, “Yeah, yeah. It’s weird for sure, but I… I wanna do something.” Her voice lowered a bit, and she shot a look that stopped Yuna in her tracks. The tension left her shoulders, her eyes softened, and she walked over to Hana.

“I’m sorry, you know I’m gonna support your choice, no matter what it is, but on this I have one condition.”

“Oh?”

Yuna smirked, “I’m coming with you.”

 

* * *

 

Hana scrolled further, past goofy selfies the world was never meant to see, past the last few photos of her transition timeline (after three years it had felt a little silly to keep doing it), until another standout caught her eye. The picture seemed unremarkable at first, and to anyone else it’s impact probably wouldn’t have made sense. It was a hastily taken shot of container of pink face paint on a shelf.

 

* * *

 

_12/6/2074_

Hana couldn’t stop herself from pacing the length of the hotel room. She was doing her best not to think of every single thing that was stressing her at once, so helpfully, her brain began composing a list.

  1. The tournament was in 2 hours, and she didn’t feel at all prepared. Every match since the season started just felt like a lucky break. The D.stroyers had gotten through the semi-finals by the skin of their teeth, and while Hana always had faith in her squad, she wasn’t sure if it was winning the final tournament levels of faith.
  2. America was scary. Hana may have paid less than full attention in her english electives (the whole lingua franca thing had lessened a bit after the omnic crisis anyway, and universal translators were a thing most places so who cares!) so the day to day was a bit challenging. Yuna could fill in where she needed, but that didn’t stop the everpresent foreignness of the place. Even the dodgier parts of Korea were brighter and more welcoming than Washington D.C.; everything around there just felt dingy at best, downright murdery at worst.
  3. Yuna had insisted on following through on Hana’s dumb 2am idea, and was browsing for some proper pink face paint. She’d gone through 3 stores already, and hadn’t listened to any of the hundreds of attempts Hana made to get her to just let it be. It made her feel guilty as shit, but it was also perhaps the sweetest thing ever, maybe it shouldn’t be on the list.



Just then, a notification beeped out on her phone. _Speak of the devil… ooh nice! That should be her tagline._

She opened the message, and was greeted by some uncomfortable priced pink face paint in the exact color she wanted, with a little text beneath it.

D.mon: This work?

Hana smiled and quickly texted a reply.

D.va: !!!!!! Absolutly!!!!!! Thank u!!!!!!!!

She added about 50 more hearts (of varying types, she had some class) before sending, a huge smile on her face. Her stress lingered, but slid to the back of her mind for the moment, replaced by a fierce excitement.

 

Yuna burst into their hotel room already tearing apart the packaging of the face paint.

“Alright so what are we doing with this again?”

Hana shifted from foot to foot, trying to find the least weird way to re-explain her plan.

“Well… I thought I could do some little whiskers, to match the whole bunny thing I guess.”

Yuna’s lips curled into a half smile, “They’re gonna go crazy for that. There’s gonna be merch of you soon, if you’re not careful.”

Hana laughed, “As long as we’re the ones making money off of it this time than that’s fine.”

The two sat on the bed and Hana turned to Yuna, presenting her face to be made up. Yuna set a hand underneath Hana’s chin and immediately she regretted every decision she’d made up to that point.

_Shit shit dammit fuck stupid gay idiot Hana dammit fuck._

Yuna’s dark gray eyes bored into her, and Hana prayed to every god she could think of that her internal panic wouldn’t show. She almost jumped as the brush hit her cheek, and it took every inch of willpower for her to stay still.

Unhelpfully, Yuna’s brow furrowed together and she bit her lip in focus in a way that was just _too cute._ Hana couldn’t stop a blush for creeping up her cheeks, but either the reddish lighting of the hotel room hid it, or Yuna simply didn’t care.

“Just two on each side right?” Yuna asked as she finished off the second flourish.

“Y-yeah.” Of course Hana’s voice cracked, and of course Yuna noticed.

“You okay?”

Hana gave a nervous laugh, “Yeah, just nerves.”

Yuna smiled, and that alone made Hana’s heart skip a beat, “Don’t worry about it too much, you’re D.va, you’ve got this.”

 

The moment after the end of the final match felt like an explosion. Cheering erupted from the audience, both teams stood up in awe, but Hana remained frozen as she stared at the scoreboard. That is, she did until she felt herself be hoisted up into a tight embrace by Yuna, who was so uncharacteristically jubilant that for a moment Hana couldn’t even recognize her.

Then Yuna pulled back, her arms still on Hana’s shoulders, and Hana felt her eyes drift from Yuna’s. Yuna had worn the black lipstick she saved for big events, and there were little indents where she had bit her lip and the makeup had come off. She tried to pull her attention away but her mind was fixed, singing a little mantra that she couldn’t shake.

_Kiss me, Kiss me, Kiss me, Kiss me._

Yuna leaned forward and Hana’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest, and then settled when she realized Yuna had only rested her forehead against Hana’s, eyes closed, still laughing. She was full of joy, full of light, and Hana loved her so so much.

But D.va couldn’t. Hana could ruin everything with her damn feelings, with her nervousness, with her secrets. D.va wouldn’t.

Hana could be in love with her best friend. D.va wouldn’t be.

 

* * *

 

A few fresh sobs wracked their way through Hana’s chest before she could continue. She wasn’t so sure now that she could be D.va when she needed to be. There was too much Hana, and Hana was ugly and messy and ruined everything she got a hold of. D.va could stem the tide but holding all of Hana back was simply sisyphean.

She bit back the frustration and scrolled further, hoping some distraction would come. Something of when Hana was just a little simpler, a little easier to handle. This was, naturally, a lie; if she was honest with herself, she’d know that the problems that seemed so little now were just as terrifying as the Gwishin then.

She scrolled through to 2073’s pictures, which were dominated by her transition timeline proper and esports nonsense. A younger Hana seemed to taunt her with her smiles and joy at her little victories. A part of her she wasn’t particularly proud of seethed at it, and wished some cynicism on that youthful visage.

Hana did her best to ignore it, searching further and further for something significant, (here meaning: something involving Yuna). There were a handful of selfies were Yuna popped up, glowering even back then. A smile tugged at Hana’s lips at the sight, but couldn’t quite make them budge, nor stop her from scrolling further.

Save for one which caught Hana’s eye. It was old, very old, before Hana had quite gotten the hang of how she wanted to present (she was, after all, barely out at the time), Yuna was still lanky and awkward, not quite the D.mon she was now. It brought a giggle out of her when she recognized it. It was at the Busan hypertrain station, the first time Yuna came down from her old home in Incheon.

It was also the first time they met face to face.

 

* * *

 

_24/7/2072_

Hana felt like she was going to be sick. Too many firsts were happening today, all at once. First time she’d gone out to meet someone she’d talked to online. First time she’d met someone at a station at all. First time she’d foregone the plausible deniability of vague androgyny to go for feminine presentation in public. All of that and Dae-hyun wasn’t even with her.

Just Hana and the ever present spectre of some asshole deciding to make her day hell on a whim.

She took a deep breath and made a concerted effort to stare at her shoes and not at every person who came too close. The announcer shouted something throughout the station, and a hypertrain departed with a roar that grew quieter and faded into the noise of the crowd. She sank back and shifted her weight into a column, staring blankly into her phone.

Finally another roar came from the station, and the hypertrain she was waiting for pulled in. Hana shoved her phone back in her purse and stood on the tips of her toes to see over the crowd. Part of her worried that she wouldn’t able to recognize who she was waiting for, or worse, she wouldn’t be able to recognize Hana.

She needn’t worry, 16 year old Yuna Lee was not exactly someone who could fade into the crowd, much as she wanted to. The overdone black eyeshadow, all black clothes that were too big, and a glare that even then could kill. Years later, Yuna would tone herself down (slightly) and she and Hana would poke fun at the _intensity_ of her younger self, but 15 year old Hana Song could not be more intrigued.

Hana waved to her. Yuna only nodded and began slinking her way through the crowd, arms folded tightly across her chest.

Only when she faced Hana did she relax her posture. Hana flashed a bright smile and held out a hand, “Hana Song, nice to meet you!”

Yuna scoffed, but gave a half smile despite herself, “Pretty sure we met like a year ago, but sure.” She took the hand and shook it.

Hana laughed and hopped a bit in place, “So, wanna see Busan?”

 

* * *

 

Hana stared at that picture for a very, very long time.  
  
_Why did she get to be happy like that? Why didn’t she get a warning, some time to prepare for how bad it is now._

_Why couldn’t that last fight just kill me._

Hana groaned and buried her head in her hands. Tears came, and light sobs that barely shook her chest, but she could hardly feel them.

There were probably other pictures in that sequence, that had that kind of significance. The joyous selfie she’d sent Dae-hyun when she’d first gotten estrogen came close, but facing young Hana at her highest highs was just too daunting now. Like looking at her younger self and admitting defeat, that she couldn’t follow up on the promised future. She’d failed herself first.

And she couldn’t keep all this in.

She picked her phone back up and began typing. 

D.va: you dont have to answer this but can we talk?

She half-regretted the action as she did it, especially looking at the time ( _2am, shit I hope this doesn't wake her up)._

Hana stared at the screen until her eyes began to burn. At the  _sent_ turning to  _read_ after what felt like an eternity. Then again, waiting for the little dots to start wiggling at the bottom of the screen. 

Instead, she heard knocking at her door, and in that moment she genuinely considered crawling under her desk and pretending to be dead. Her legs seemed to have other ideas, however, and they carried her all the way to her door. Her hand betrayed her two, and even as she tried to stop it, it opened her door. 

And there was Yuna, looking confused but not angry. Standing  _way_ too close for Hana to think properly. 

Yuna shifted uncomfortably and avoided Hana's eyes. "So, you... wanted to talk?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Just as a sidenote, I'm not trans so if I mishandled something please let me know and I'll do my best to fix it! Also I promise there will, at some point, be a plot.)


	4. Wraith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something gained. Something lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's been a slight alteration to the last chapter so if this one confuses you then go ahead and re read the very end of the last one it'll make sense (I hope)

That night proved to be less the heart to heart that Hana half-hoped it would be and more clearing the air. Mostly, the two just apologized over and over and over again. For being stupid, immature, and endlessly stubborn.

They both agreed to do something to make up for it, just the two of them, like old times. Naturally the first thing that came to mind was playing an unhealthy amount of video games for an entire day, or at least as long as they could get away with it.

It really should have been that easy, but Yuna’s disarming sincerity in reconciliation caught Hana off guard. Sincerity wasn’t her thing. She excelled at irony and emotional distance, this was unprecedented.

Somehow the eagerness of a hardened soldier setting up a shitty old PS6 left Hana terrified. No skill she had helped her here, and there was no tactic for reacting to the glint of hardly suppressed joy that appeared every now and again in Yuna’s eyes.

Yuna, being herself, was no help. Dressed in the same military issue clothing that she usually wore, and captured way too much of Hana’s attention. More than once she caught herself staring at Yuna’s frankly _unfair_ biceps, and each time she silently prayed her gaze went unnoticed. She almost audibly sighed in relief when Yuna stood and tossed her a controller.  

“Sorry for the wait, the omni-cables are acting up a bit.”

Hana only tossed a smile Yuna’s way in thanks before turning her attention to the screen. It stuttered for a moment for flashing to life, displaying of the menu screen an old, pre-omnic crisis shooter.

Hana recognized it instantly as one of the many games she and Dae-hyun had pilfered in their youth, one that Hana had introduced Yuna to on her first visit.

_She remembered!_

It was obviously an olive branch, sheepishly offered, but it was one that Hana was beyond willing to take. She grabbed a controller as a huge grin spread across her face. A look to her left showed that the same expression appeared on Yuna, although much more subdued, and Hana felt an annoying blush warm her cheeks and again prayed that Yuna’s attention would be elsewhere.

As it turned out she need not worry, as Yuna was fully focused on the game and currently kicking the shit out of Hana in it.

“Dammit!” Hana groaned in frustration after Yuna killed her for the third time a minute, “When’d you get so good at this? Have you been practicing?”

Yuna smirked and gave her a conspiratorial wink.

“You little-!” The death screen popped up again while Hana searched for a suitable phrase, “Demon! You absolute demon!”

Yuna only laughed in response, a low rumble of a laugh that could only be described as pure evil.

The fourth time Hana’s character died, she abandoned her controller altogether and began trying to wrestle away Yuna’s.

What she hadn’t accounted for was how much stronger Yuna was than her. After trying and completely failing to even make Yuna budge, the two were dangerously close, with Hana’s hands around Yuna’s, still gripping her controller.   

Yuna laughed again, far less ‘evil-y’ this time. “Well, well. What would the fans say if they saw this.”

Hana’s face went bright red and she quickly moved herself away, but Yuna continued before she could ask what she meant.

“The great champion D.va, resorted to cheating at a game from her childhood.”

_Oh thank the gods,_ Hana felt a massive wave of both relief and disappointment wash over her at Yuna’s answer, _that makes much more sense._

“Well I haven’t played the game in like 2 years and I wasn’t expecting _someone_ to have been practicing.” Hana gave a fake huff and turned away from Yuna.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Yuna’s expression twisted to an old, sly challenge that Hana hadn’t seen since their esports days. Hana could only smile in return, even as her cheeks turned redder.

She made to pick up her own controller again but froze as a siren pierced the air. It rose and grated along her skin, and stiffened her spine as it fell. The sound meant only one thing: Gwishin.

Immediately Yuna jumped to her feet and Hana scrambled to grab the sidearm on her bedside table. She jammed a clip into the pistol before looking back to Yuna.

Her companion’s face had hardened into the stone mask she wore into combat, but her eyes, wide in panic, betrayed her.

A sharp artificial voice then broke the silence again, “Gwishin technology signatures identified near Jeju listening post. 75 minutes until estimated contact in Busan.”

Hana felt her knuckles tighten around her pistol. _That’s some time, way more time than before, we can prepare._ For a second her shoulders lost a tiny bit of tension, before she thought through the implication, _that means it must be big._

“Hana,” Yuna’s voice caught her off guard, being softer and shakier than usual, “Please don’t do anything stupid this time.”

She then left the room without another word, leaving Hana to stare at the closed door for far too long under the circumstances, before she scrambled into her flight suit and bolted toward the hangar.

 

* * *

 

Only minutes later, the entirety of the MEKA team was equipped and assembled in the Hangar. Pre flight diagnostics, physical checks on armor and weapons systems, and overviews of available intel all served as necessary distractions, lest the whole team panic. Whatever was out there was not only big, there were multiple of them, and they didn’t match any of the existing Gwishin signatures. They were submerged and disrupting much of the sensor readings taken, but plans in counterattack were already running wildly as theory after theory was floated and more intel slowly trickled in.

Hana herself tried her best to ignore most of it; it would be refuted and updated by the time they were in the air anyway. Nevertheless, she too was busying herself with nonsense, inspecting every singe connecting joint and intersecting plate on Tokki, pretending there would be any difference between then and when it was repaired last.

Yuna stood not to far from her, seemingly the calmest in the entire hangar, as she slowly ran a polishing cloth over her Janggeom. Hana found herself somewhat mesmerized in watching the process, it being serene next to the chaos in the rest of the hangar. Or at least it was before Yuna caught her staring at the sword and smirked. “Don’t ogle my baby like that, she’s _mine._ ”

Hana laughed, “No worries, you’re the only one… _you_ enough to bring an actual sword as your sidearm.” She affixed her pistol holster in her cockpit. “Even Jae-eun’s isn’t that committed to the aesthetic.”

Yuna slid the Janggeom back into its sheath and placed it in her own cockpit. “Jae-eun literally dyed his hair for this job and named his mech _La Princess Serene._ ”

“First of all,” Jae-eun yelled from beside his mech, “I dyed it beforehand, I just kept it cuz it fits. Second of all, fuck you.”

“Watch it Mr. Kwon, I’m about to jump into commanding officer mode and I’ll be 100% ready to kick your ass.”

Jae-eun opened his mouth to retort, but thought better of it and returned to working on his mech, although Hana half wished he had some other remark to distract from the silent tension. A tension that intensified every second, especially when Captain Myung finally entered the hangar.

“MEKA team, attention!” Yuna barked, and stood ramrod straight next to her mech, the other pilots quickly following suit.

“The Gwishin are staying submerged on their approach, and their jamming our long range sensors so we won’t have detailed intel until we get your readings back.” Myung brought up a holographic map in the center of the hangar, and pointed at three blinking dots moving toward Busan. “Due to their speed and depth it’s safe to assume that they are large and heavily armored, what our sensors can tell is that they are like bipedal. As such, we’re going to need to bring them on land to stand a chance fighting them.” She points again to an island uncomfortably close to Busan. “We’re going to use a false signal to lure them onto Somaemuldo, and that’s where you will engage them. Understood?”

“Sir, yes sir!” the team shouted back in unison. Myung then gave a sharp salute and left the room. The team settled into their mechs, and one by one shot off into the East China Sea.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t long before the island came into sight, with three giant robots looking incredibly confused standing on it.

“Visual contact, sending data.” D.mon barked. “Assemble in combat positions, engage at my order.”

The team murmured in acknowledgement, with King and Casino pulling into a hover to set up their long range weapons.

“Damn, they look like those russian robots, the old anti-omnic ones?” King called out.

“Chat keeps saying the name but there’s no way I can pronounce that.” D.va responded, scrolling through.

“Svyatogors?”

“Something like that.”

A series of overlays dropped over Hana’s screen, showing various hardpoints and weaknesses on the Gwishin. Immediately she noticed that some of the points seem to not appear on the Gwishin themselves.

“D.mon, why our the specs off? What’s going on?” Hana tried to keep the panic out of her voice, _be D.va, cheery D.va, it’ll all go fine._

“King’s hunch was pretty good, command say’s they’re re-purposed Svyatogor chassis.” The overlay shifted as D.mon removed the clearly faulty hardpoints. “It’s not perfect but it’s what we’ve got.” Another overlay shift, with several points highlighted now, “Ready?”

The team enthusiastically shouted back in confirmation.

“All units, engage hostiles!”

Immediately Hana felt her mech jolt as her thrusters burst into life, and again as she let loose a volley from her fusion cannons. The air around her burst into fire and energy as shots from her teammates and the Gwishin twisted between each other.

Up close, it became more and more apparent how alien these Gwishin were. While the Svyatogors evoked a human-ish form, something about these Gwishin was… off. Their limbs were too long, their legs bent unnaturally, and their heads surrounding by sensor stalks and metal tendrils carrying weapons.

“They’re like some kinda goddamn lovecraft monster.” Casino hissed as he fired shot after shot toward the omnics.  

Overlord gave a nervous laugh, “Chat wants to know which ones.”

_Come on Hana, witty banter, the crowd loves it, act natural while you’re in a literal warzone, you’ve done this before._ “Cthulhu, duh.”

“You’ve never read Lovecraft, have you D.va?”

Hana took a sharp turn and fired a missile volley before responding, “Isn’t he like, a mega racist?”

“Oh absolutely, he’s the worst, but these still aren’t Cthulhus.”

Casino finally scored a hit that broke through one of the Gwishin’s shields, “Dagons! Chat says they’re dagons!”

“Wait, isn’t that the one where people are fucking the monsters?”

Casino laughed, “It sure is!”

Hana sighed in exaggerated exasperation and tried to shrug, but her shoulders stayed too tense. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Whereas the last Gwishin had been hell bent on wreaking havoc, these seemed hardly interested in the squad themselves, let alone apocalyptic destruction.

That was until one of Casino’s rounds shot clean through the “head” of one of them. It sputtered and crashed into the ground, and both of its compatriots began truly engaging the mechs.

“Hwacha protocol!” King shouted, and missiles poured out of his mech and slammed into the Gwishin. One hardly budged, but the shields of the other flickered out.

“Hana! Cover me!” D.mon yelled her way, and Hana followed. Her defense matrix draped around D.mon’s mech, absorbing rounds as the Beast dove in and plunged it’s blade into the Gwishin, destroying it.

Overlord swept in to give a shield boost, but the second Gwishin leapt at the mech, backhanding it into the rocky hill of the island. Mastermind’s limbs crumpled, but the cockpit stayed intact, much to Hana’s relief.

“D.va group up with me!” D.mon shouted again, and highlighted more hardpoints on their overlays. “Casino, King, you keep covering fire. Get those shields down!”

Casino grunted in response, and more sharp cracks filled the air as his long range cannons pounded the omnics shields, followed by another missile barrage from King.

Unfortunately, that caught the Gwishin’s attention, and it barreled past D.va and D.mon to smash into King. His mech spun across the water like a tossed stone before gaining control again, although only slightly.

“My guns are down, there’s nothing I can do I’m sorry.” King called back as he pulled his mech to the other side of the hill.

Hana bit her lip, _come one, we’ve still got 3 gook mechs that’s enough for one tough motherfucker. Just like 3 damage boys on one tank, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine._

Another _crack_ cut the air and punctured the omnic’s shields, followed by a cheer from Casino. “Hell yeah! One kill two assists!”

The Gwishin turned to La Princess Serene, and charged. Hana tried to rush into it, but was again beaten back, the force of it tearing her mech’s left leg clean off.

Casino tried to shift into a better movement calibration, but the omnic was already on top of him. It brought up the cannon on its right arm and fired a shot point blank, a shot that ripped through La Princess Serene, leaving only chunks of molten slag that flew off into the sea.

Hana heard a scream, and in a moment knew it was hers. Yuna yelled into her radio to cut the stream, cursing Myung when she refused, and cursing their poor intel. Hana heard none of it, but she did feel her boosters kick in, she did feel her mech shudder under the impact of the omnics fire. She felt a sudden jolt as Beast flew into Tokki and pushed it out of the way, and she felt her weaker arm snap as she hit the water, but after that; she couldn’t seem to feel much at all.

Not as the last omnic slammed into the ground. Not as water seeped into her mech. Not as Yuna pulled her from the wreckage, yelling her name. Not as she was handed off to rescuers. Not as painkillers pushed away what lingered of her consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops! There's actually a plot that just started now! Sorry that took so long!


	5. Wisps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understandings.

The team… what was left of it, still visited Hana in the hospital, however briefly. Most offered meek praise of her performance in the field, Myung sticking almost to a script, but only Dae-hyun asked how she was actually doing. She ignored him. It was a stupid question, and as much as she welcomed it, he wasn’t the one she wanted to hear it from.

Yuna didn’t even sit down when she visited. Only leaning on the doorframe, avoiding eye contact. She only lingered a few minutes before saying “I’m sorry,” and departing.

Only Dae-hyun visited on the second day, though conversation was still sparse. He did try to cheer her up, conjuring up some wildly exaggerated story about an interaction he recently had at the local gay bar.

He got a weak smile for his efforts, but Hana’s mood stayed the same. Misery at arm's length, not quite fully reaching her yet. She wasn’t sure if it was the painkillers or the shock, but grief just couldn’t get to her. After Dae-hyun left, she tried to conjure it up, just to have something, but nothing came.

It was nighttime when they discharged her, with a cast on her left arm and bandages all over her chest. Thankfully, no paparazzi’s were waiting for her as she exited the quiet lobby. It was one of the smaller hospitals and the staff were probably paid to keep quiet, just enough to buy the injured team members time to get away.

The cool night air was a relief next to the staleness of the hospital. It was something she could react to, and for a moment she reveled in that. The Busan itself was uncharacteristically quiet, likely in some performance of mourning Jae-eun.

There came an emotion. _Anger._

 _Fuck them!_ she screamed silently at the skyline. She wasn’t sure if she meant the people or the Gwishin, or MEKA, or herself. It didn’t matter, they were all complicit anyway.

She dug her phone out of her pocket to check the news, just to continue the emotion. The headlines were sensationalized, the articles inaccurate, and the petty tributes beyond artificial. Ultimately it just made her feel sick, empty again.

She began walking without knowing it, although she wasn’t sure where she was going. The base was in the other direction and nothing interested her in this part of Busan, but walking was a thing that felt like something, so she continued, still absentmindedly thumbing through her phone.

She pulled up her contacts to look for some distraction, and hovered over the call button on Dae-hyun, but thought better of it. A contact without an icon caught her attention though, next to a number she once had memorized. She hadn’t called her mother in quite a long time, but a strange impulse struck her, so she hit the button anyway.

It didn’t ring for long.

“Ju- Hana!” Hana flinched, even at the half of the name, but her mother continued, “I saw you on the news, you did a good job out there.” She paused for a moment, “I’m sorry about your teammate.”

Hana sighed, _why the hell did I do this,_ “Yeah, I… thanks.”

“You know they’re all worried about you out there. They’re talking about your… episode at the end. Some of the people are saying you shouldn’t be going on missions anymore.” Hana bristled at that, but it was hardly unexpected, “I have half a mind to write them that it's none of their business.”

“You don’t have to.” Another sigh, one that shook in her chest, “You know how the media is, they spin shi… _stuff_ , all the time. They’ll be talking about something else in a few days anyway.” She sounded much more confident than she felt, but she could feel her eyes and nose begin to sting.

“Well it’s still rude of them.” A silence overtook the call, as Hana searched for some response, “You still there, Hana?”

“Yeah, I am.” She bit her lip, “Hey, mom? Could I ask you a kind of weird question?”

Her mother stayed quiet for a moment before responding, “What is it?”

“Would it be okay if I… if I left the team?” Hana’s words tumbled out of her mouth, faster and faster as she went on, “I just… I don’t know if I’m cut out for this anymore. The mechs, the fighting, the whole celebrity thing, it’s… it’s too much.” Her voice broke on the last three words, and the tears she didn’t know she was holding back poured out. Light sobs built up and beat at her chest, but her mother didn’t seem to notice.

“Honey, you and I both know that’s not what you want.” Her mother’s voice went cold, familiarly authoritative, “Your country needs you, especially now. You have to see this through, it’s your duty.”

Hana tried to hide the dejection in her voice, to little effect. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks mom.”

Before she could reply, Hana hung up. It shouldn’t have hurt, it shouldn’t have; and she shouldn’t have been surprised at her mother’s attitudes, but it all ached. _Another year of avoiding visits I guess, probably for the best._

She bit her lip again, harder and harder to hold back the sobs that shook her. The sparse people walking the streets kept their attention elsewhere, not that Hana cared.

_Let them stare, let them make another fucking headline of this. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care!_

She repeated the thought over and over until she almost believed it. Until she could almost block out the curious looks of passersby. At least, until she noticed a particularly curious man seemed to follow her.

Hana immediately felt her brain shift, lesser concerns shunted off as the soldier’s brain kicked in, flavoured in part by the beginnings of panic. The man was definitely following her, and not being particularly shy about it. His clothes were nondescript in a way that had to be intentional, _not some weirdo fan then._ He wore a large coat, one that had none of the telltale protrusions that would indicate a weapon, _probably not military._

She reached a hand toward her sidearm, and growled when she grasped at empty air in a holster. _Of course they wouldn’t let you have a pistol in a hospital! What are you thinking!_ The beginnings of panic creeped further and further into actual panic, as the man drew closer and closer.

_You are a goddamn soldier Hana Song. Broken arm or not you can drop this idiot._

She quickly turned and moved into a stance that she hoped was intimidating. “Fuck _off!_ ” She yelled, and the man flinched and took a step back, but otherwise seemed unphased. There was an intense fear in his eyes, but it didn’t seem to come from her.

“I’m sorry Ms. Song, but I need to ask you some questions.” His voice shook, and his gaze darted all around him as he spoke.

“Wait, what? Why?” Hana’s stance dropped for a moment, “Who are you?”

“Um… that’s not important.” Again he looked around himself, as if expecting someone to swoop down on him at any minute. He took a deep breath and blurted out his questions, “Do you know anything about corruption in MEKA? Anything they aren’t telling us? Anything at all, from an inside source it could make all the difference!”

 _A journalist, of course. Should’ve figured._ Hana felt herself tense up again. This man was no paparazzi, but the ones who got high and mighty with themselves could be just as bad. Either way, she kept her mouth shut.

The man’s panic grew, and he took a cautious step forward, “Look, I know this is risky,” he seemed to be saying that more for himself than her, “but there’s gotta be something you know. A contact you can give us? Point us in the right direction!”

Hana had no idea how to respond, but she began stepping back as the man stepped forward again. She was about to break into a sprint when a roaring came from the street, as a hoverbike with a rider all in black came into view. _Yuna._

The hoverbike screeched to a halt and Yuna leapt off of it, stepping between Hana and the journalist. The man blubbered some excuse, but stopped when she pressed something against his neck. Hana stepped closer, and saw it was a combat knife, its serrated teeth digging into the man’s skin.

“We are not here for you to make a name for yourself.” Yuna hissed, “You are gonna march right back to your boss, and tell him from me that if you go anywhere near Hana Song again,” She pressed the knife closer and beads of read started to form against it, “Lieutenant Yuna Lee is going to slit your fucking throat. Am I understood?”

The man nodded, and the second Yuna lowered the knife, he ran. Meanwhile, Hana was frozen in place in shock at the exchange. _I definitely did not find that kind of attractive, definitely not. Just cool, Yuna’s cool, very cool. Yup._

Yuna sheathed the knife and gave Hana a once over. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? Cuz I’ll go back and k-”

“I’m fine!” Hana almost yelled. Yuna nodded and gestured to her hoverbike.

“Um… its cool if you just wanna rest or whatever, but I was gonna head to the old observation deck if you want to come with.” Yuna stated it so casually, eyes toward the ground, but Hana felt her heart leap into her throat.

“Yeah, sure!” she tried very _very_ hard to sound casual, but Yuna didn’t seem to notice. The rapid absence and then resurgence of feeling almost made her nauseous, but this one she felt she had to chase.

 

* * *

Hana was still transfixed by the time Yuna’s boots thudded against the observation deck. The shock of the day still hadn’t worn off, and to fight it Hana tried to simply focus on the familiar surroundings. The ocean heaved, the wind billowed, the deck groaned, and at the precipice of all of it, Yuna Lee stood, a lit cigarette in her mouth and hand resting on the sheathed knife.

As much as she’d deny it, it was obvious that Yuna never really had grown out of her goth phase. Her leather jacket, ripped black jeans, and black combat boots were only the compromises of an older goth who got tired of all the work. All of that wasn’t news, but the cigarette was. Yuna had finally stopped smoking when she entered MEKA, and after boot camp had kept to such a strict health regime it put the rest of the squad to shame.

Although she found it intimidating, Hana had no desire to see Yuna slip. Driven by a sudden confidence, she marched over to Yuna, plucked the cigarette from her mouth, and crushed it underfoot. Yuna’s face shifted quickly from its previous state to curiosity and finally to embarrassment.

Hana stared her down and said nothing. To speak would be hypocritical, as she knew she had no leg to stand on with bad habits. Yuna refused to meet her eyes, and eventually turned her gaze back to the sea, letting its rising and falling fill the uneasy silence.

“I’m sorry about your arm.” she said, barely louder than a whisper.

Hana shook her head, “It’s no big deal.”

Yuna stared down at the cast, and gingerly took Hana’s injured hand and lifted it. She produced a marker from another side pocket and began drawing on the cast, almost absentmindedly. A rabbit and a demonic imp with what were probably meant to be controllers in their hands. Yuna smiled to herself and capped the marker, while Hana thought she was going to faint from it all.

The edgelord D.mon was everpresent, and Yuna liked it that way. However, every no and again she could be absolutely _adorable,_ and Hana had never been able to deal with it.

Nor was she able to deal with the fact that Yuna still held her hand as she looked back up. Deep brown eyes met hers with such unguarded concern that Hana’s heart skipped a beat.

The old beast reared its head too, _stop it, stop it please. She’s grieving and these feelings won’t help her. Don’t you dare take advantage. Don’t you dare read too much into this. Don’t you dare Hana Song._

Yuna muttered another apology and dropped her hand quickly, as if Hana’s thoughts had somehow stung her. _Dammit, I must’ve had a look. Idiot._

Yuna walked to the railing, and deeply sighed, exhaustion ringing through her voice, “Hana, I think we need to talk about something, something kind of big.”

“Which is..?” Hana’s voice shook with equal parts fear and confusion.

Yuna’s knuckles went white against the railing, “I’ve been having suspicions for a while that MEKA is corrupt,” Hana nodded, that much isn’t news, Yuna always believed that, “But now, I have a hunch it goes way further than that, and I think we’ll all end up dead if we don’t do something.”

“Wait, what? Why?” Hana shook her head, she had her own hunches too, but she had no reason to believe MEKA would kill them off.

“I’ve overheard some conversations Myung had with her superiors, and I’ve done some… research.” She turned to Hana, her expression hard to read, “MEKA is getting caught up in some serious arms deals. That, our lack of intel, and the svyatogor chassis yesterday… I just need to make sure of something, and-”

“I’m going with you.” Hana interrupted, startling Yuna. The latter’s eyes widened and she shook her head.

“No, absolutely not. I’m sorry I… I need you here.” Yuna gestured in the direction of the base, “And if I’m wrong, I can’t drag you down with me. I just thought-”

Hana walked up to Yuna and glared at her, “I’m going with you, Yuna Lee. Don’t try to stop me.” Her voice was low, almost threatening.

Yuna sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I’m not gonna be able to dissuade you, I guess.” Hana shook her head, “Fine, we’ll talk more tomorrow, you should be getting some rest anyway.”

 

* * *

 

 

Hana slept fitfully that night, dreams filled with molten metal and ocean monsters. She awoke the next morning to a series of news alerts on her phone, and recognized the journalist that assailed her last night from them. She frantically looked through the headlines

_Investigative journalist found dead! Serial Killer Widowmaker thought to be at fault!_

Sensationalist nonsense, but odd nevertheless.  

 _Might be worth mentioning to Yuna._ She thought as she scrolled to another notification. _Speak of the devil._

D.mon: Meet me in that shop in Old Busan.

Hana smiled as she texted a reply. Today at least, would be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary is actually gonna start making sense now!!


	6. Revenant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rising Up, Striking Back.

Technically, Hana wasn’t _not_ allowed to go running around the sketchier parts of Busan. Technically.

That didn’t mean that doing so wouldn’t come with lectures, chastisements, talking-to’s, and the like. These were things she liked to avoid, so she and Yuna decided to slip out from the base in the early hours of the morning. _Covertly._

A series of peerings down hallways, “tactical” hand signals, and fake codewords later, Hana and Yuna were onto a hoverbike and flying off to what was left of the ruins of Busan.

In the last decade or so, Busan had done an excellent job of making it look like the Gwishin never came. The main streets were shining and colorful, pristine and both technological and traditional in a dazzling blend of styles. Yuna often remarked that it was all part of a massive ruse to make people forget about the Gwishin, and she was probably right, but they were still easy on the eyes.

Past them, past even the relatively run down older parts of Busan, was where Hana and Dae-hyun had grown up. The old districts that were uncared for before the Omnic crisis, and only decayed further afterwards.

The whites and blues of the city center gave way to browns and grays. Bombed out buildings and tenements made up the skyline, and Yuna pulled up to a familiar husk of the former. A ruined tech building, warmer than most, that Hana and Dae-hyun had originally found to rob, but remained in the rotation of hangs until the two left the district. It had been one of the places Hana had showed to Yuna when she gave her the tour of the district, then proud to show off her knowledge of the “underground.”

“Can’t believe this thing is still standing.” Yuna spoke almost wistfully, and carefully peered through the wreckage of a window.

“See any squatters?” Hana asked, a thumbs tracing the grip of the pistol she held in a jacket pocket.

Yuna shook her head and climbed through. Hana kept her hand on her gun as she followed. Thankfully, the place didn’t stink. The air didn’t seem toxic, and the worst refuse about were cigarette butts and empty alcohol bottles (most of which she and Dae-hyun probably left there long ago, anyway).

Satisfied that they were alone and that their surroundings would be tolerable, Yuna slumped against a ruined wall and Hana hopped up onto a half destroyed counter.

Silence hung around them as each of them searched for proper words, punctuated by the sound of Hana’s sneakers hitting the edge of the counter as she swung her legs.

Out of a desire to end that silence, she spoke first. “So… MEKA, not good huh?” _How astoundingly eloquent Hana Song. What a true genius you are! So glad you sounded so smart in front of Yuna!_

For her part, Yuna seemed unphased. “Yes, to put it lightly.” She pulled a small holo-displayer from her sweater pocket and placed it on the floor between them. “Through my ‘research’ I’ve tracked some of the components for our mechs to a few covert collection point not too far from here. My theory is that our suppliers know more than we do about the Gwishin, and they’ve sent us in with weaknesses to make the fight more ‘entertaining.’” She gave a bitter sigh, “Propaganda and mass arms dealing all in one.”

A map of Korea popped up on the projector, and Yuna fiddled with it until it zoomed in on one of the ruined districts just to the north. She pointed to a single building among the urban sprawl. “This warehouse should have an uplink to their supply network, if I can get the data from here, then I get isolate a target to find out more from one of their suppliers directly.”

Hana nodded, trying take in everything Yuna was saying. She would be lying if she said it didn’t bother her how much Yuna had already put herself in danger, but she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to see this through with her.

“You keep saying ‘I,’ you know I’m coming with you, right?”

Yuna sighed, “Yeah, I figured. I was half hoping this would scare you off or something but… I know you too well for that.”

Hana felt a swell of joy at that, “Damn right! So when do we leave?”

Yuna laughed, “Well, our best window is tonight I think. Lowest guard rotation, easiest to get in and get out.” she pocketed the projector and stood. “I’ll meet you at the observation deck at 22 hundred hours, make sure your not followed and you wear something... “ She eyed Hana’s bright pink jacket, “Discreet.”

 

* * *

 

Hana rushed through the rest of the day. More distractible and hyperactive than usual, and slightly paranoid through every interaction. She had taken off her hard cast that morning, leaving only a string of tightly wound bandages around her wrist; but still she tested the arm’s state again and again. _Please don’t give out when your most needed,_ she practically prayed to Angela Ziegler and medical science in general, just in case. _Please don’t let Yuna down just because of a bad arm._

When time finally came for her to meet Yuna, she grabbed her most boring hoodie, an old pair of Yuna’s jeans she had borrowed some time ago, a pistol (she tried not to think of the implications of it, it was a stealth mission after all), and quickly departed the base, alone on her own hoverbike for once.

 

Yuna was pacing when she arrived at the observation deck, but stopped once Hana was off her bike. The two ran down a checklist of necessities, which Yuna checked and double checked, and then checked once more for good measure. Her own gear consisted mostly of omni-cables and a burner holo-screen, in addition to her Janggeom in its sheath, slung over her shoulder and a knife strapped to her hip. It seemed a bit overkill to Hana, but then again, these were not the small scale heists of her youth. She had stolen video games and estradiol, she and Yuna were going to steal trade secrets from arms dealers.

Yuna pulled out the same holo projector from earlier and placed it on the ground between them. A rough diagram of a warehouse popped up on the display, clearly rendered in a hurry. Yuna hit a button and 3 red dots appeared around the warehouse. One in the middle of the storage floor, one near the entrance, and one on the second floor. A yellow dot appeared next to the third guard.

“Alright, there’s only going to be these three guards on duty, and we only have to subdue this one,” she pointed to the third guard, “to get to the uplink.” she pointed to the yellow dot.

“What do you mean, ‘subdue?’” Hana narrowed her eyes and the offending red dot, terrified of the answer.

“I have no intention of slitting the man’s throat if that’s what you’re asking,” Hana winced, but nodded, “I’ve been practicing non-lethal takedowns, but honestly it’s just to go with your hand to hand as quietly as possible if you get into trouble.”

Hana gave her a curious look, “How long have you been preparing this?”

Yuna looked down for a moment and pondered the question, “I started researching a few months ago, but this is all from about a week ago.”

Hana delivered another look, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yuna still avoided her eyes, her voice going quieter, “Didn’t want you to get involved, and I still wouldn’t have if not for…” she trailed off, but Hana knew the end of the sentence. _If not for Jae-eun dying._

Yuna shook her head and directed her attention to the diagram again. Yuna talked through every step: which window to enter, their exact route to the uplink, the time it would take, and the exact route out. Then she began again, and a third time, and began on a fourth before Hana interrupted her.

“Then in through the window here and-”

“I got it! Actually, had it by the first time. No worries.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind going over it ag-”

“ _Very sure_! I promise. 100% comprehension.” Hana tried and failed to keep the exasperation out of her voice, to which Yuna scowled.

“We’re committing treason Hana, I’d really rather not get caught.”

“Then let’s just not get caught.” Hana turned away and began walking over to her hoverbike. She threw one leg over and gave Yuna and expectant look. “Come on! Let’s go commit some treason!”

 

* * *

 

Hana felt even her false bravado ebb away every second they drew closer to the warehouse. She and Yuna cut the engines on their bikes and stashed them in a dingy lot a block from their target (no small time thief could crack their security anyway) and proceeded on foot.

The warehouse itself had little around it, being slightly separated from the surrounding urban sprawl. That meant few places to hide, and those there were gave little room to breath.

Hana and Yuna lingered by a run down stone wall at the perimeter. Yuna pulled out a holo screen and began quickly typing away at it, looking back and forth from the screen to the building.

Eventually she smirked at a silent victory and looked up at Hana. “Alright! I’m no Sombra collective, but I’ve got us a pretty good window to get in and get out while their cameras and looping.”

She stashed the screen and made to stand before pausing to look at Hana one last time, “You ready?”

Hana palmed the grip of her pistol and nodded, ignored the blood rushing in her ears, and the fear biting at her neck.

The two dashed as quietly as they could up to the warehouse wall. Hana glared around, and nodded to Yuna when she was sure the coast was clear. With a soft _snap,_ Yuna broke the latch on the window. She climbed through, and then frantically gestured for Hana to follow.

The warehouse interior was barely lit, and mostly empty, save for a single guard preoccupying himself with shitty holo screen showing some sports event. He was facing the opposite direction, and blasting the low quality audio far too loud to hear as Yuna and Hana silently ascended the stairs to the catwalk that lined the walls.

_Just like the plan, got past the first two, and Yuna’s gonna just bash this third one._

That third guard was sat right next to the uplink, itself seated in the room overlooking the warehouse, at a fold out table, and Hana’s heart skipped a beat when she saw a fourth guard across from him.

Yuna swore under her breath, her brow furrowed and a hand at her set jaw. Hana’s eyes darted between the guard, and then again to Yuna, trying to think of some way out of this. She caught her eye, and gave a quick series of gestures. A thumb drawn against her neck, and a shake of the head, _I don’t want to kill anyone_ . Yuna nodded, and she continued, taking her pointer fingers and drawing them apart, moving them forward, and then back together, _Let’s split up and hit them on each end._

Yuna nodded one final time and moved further along the catwalk, until the hugged the entrance to the uplink room.

Hana slowly walked along a horizontal section of the catwalk, praying the guard below would look up. Until sudden “What?” froze her in her tracks.

“What the hell is that?” The guard below asked. Hana dared not move, save for slowly pulling her pistol from her pocket.

“What kinda move- Oh my god! What a play!”

Hana felt both an immense relief and an extreme anger all at once. _Fucking idiot sports watcher… person! Ugh! Scared the shit out of me!_ Hana shook her head, allowed a moment to regain her senses, and proceeded until she was at the other entrance to the uplink room. She and Yuna made eye contact from across the warehouse, and Yuna held out a thumbs up. Hana took a deep breath, and returned it.

The next few seconds were a blur, as both women rushed the two guards, who barely had time to process before a steel toed boot crashed into the head of one, and the butt of a pistol into the neck of the other. Both fell and were out cold. Yuna and Hana hurriedly closed the doors to the room, the former getting to work at the uplink, and the latter slumping against the wall and trying not to process what had just happened.

Hana eyed the one she’d hit, a dark purple bruise already formed on him. “Do you think they might recognize you?”

Yuna raised an eyebrow, but didn’t turn from the screen, “But not you?”

Hana shook her head, “No, no one in Korea would recognize me with this little makeup.”

“Wait- you’re wearing makeup right now?”

Hana shrugged, “Well yeah, I’m always wearing makeup, it’s an occupational hazard.”

Yuna paused and shot her an expression she couldn’t quite place, before returning to the screen in front of her. Silence fell between the two, until Yuna mouthed a quiet _‘yes’_ and motioned Hana over.

“I’ve decrypted the transfer signatures, I’m running them through the signatures I already know, and a few from some friends. We should know who we’re dealing with right about… now.”

A few more lines of code ran across the screen, with Yuna entering in bits and pieces, before a list on names spilled out over the screen.

 

**_Volskaya Industries; Eastern Asia Division,_ **

**_Vishkar Corporation; Defense Division,_ **

**_Raytheon Union: Republic of Korea Offices,_ **

**_Ministries of Oasis; Ministry of Defense_ **

**_Ministries of Oasis; Ministry of Genetics_ **

**_Min Tian Armaments; Overseas Departments_ **

 

Yuna’s eyes went wide, her mouth agape as she stared at the screen. Hana looked between the two, not comprehending.

“What? What’s this mean?” She looked over the list again, “I know we have arms dealer contracts, why is this different?”

Yuna took a moment to collect herself, “When I was searching through signatures, I removed all official sponsorships, most of which were native Korean and or entertainment companies anyway.” She pointed to the list, “Each of these are publicly undisclosed, military specific contributions at least over ten US billion, most are way over that, Min Tian is just over 100 billion.”

Hana could practically feel the gears turning in her head as she tried to work out the meaning. “So… that’s _way_ more than we’re getting on the ground. Where’s this money going if we’re not seeing it? Why is a ministry on _genetics_ involved?”

Yuna nodded, “That’s the question.” She pulled up a separate holo screen, displayed a completed download. “Alright, I’ve got what we came here for. I’m gonna send a copy to a friend and then I’ve gotta cover our tracks. After that, we’re gone.”

Hana felt a pang of relief, before she heard cheering from the bottom floor.

“Hell yeah! We’re going to the finals!” The guard below roared. Hana then heard a series of heavy footfalls against the catwalk stairs. “Hey Seong-hun! Guess what!”

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_

Hana and Yuna exchanged a terrified expression. Yuna looked toward the door, and mouthed _‘go’_ to her. Hana scowled and shook her head. _Distraction, need a distraction._ Hana slightly cracked open the door opposite the guard and peered out. He was blessedly distracted on his phone, giving her a moment to weigh her options.

 _I could overload my pistol? Set it to blow and throw it? No, it’d be recognized. Don’t think I could knock him out without being seen._ She glanced around the uplink room, eye’s landing on a phone laying on the fold out table, one of the guard’s. She grabbed it, knelt back by the door, and tossed it onto the ground below. It smashed into the concrete and burst into broken plastic and electronics, startling the guard by the door.

“What the fuck? Did you..? How?”

Hana nearly prayed on the spot as the guard left the door and began walking down to look at the destroyed phone. Then Yuna leapt up from the uplink and started making her way out. Hana followed, and they both went onto the catwalk as Yuna began prying open a window there.

This time, however, the guard did look up.

“Hey! Get down here! Now!” The man barked. Yuna swore and drew her Janggeom, making short work of the window. She kicked the remaining glass, and seized Hana by the arm, practically throwing her through it. She gripped the edge and began climbing down, trying to ignore the increased shouting. The guards partner round the corner, and raised an assault rifle in her direction.

Operating on reflex, Hana drew and fired two shots. The first at the weapon, which missed, and the second at the guards kneecap, which hit. Hana winced as the man toppled and howled in pain, but gave no second glance as Yuna jumped from the broken window, and the two ran back into the scattered half-ruined cityscape.

 

* * *

  
Both Hana and Yuna were completely out of breath by the time the reached and mounted their hoverbikes. They took separate routes back to base, and met up just before dawn began creeping into the sky. There were no words exchanged between the two until they had stashed their weapons and were alone in Yuna’s room.

Naturally, Hana was the first to speak, “So, what’s the debrief?”

Yuna laughed, a long laugh of relief and ecstatic joy, “Oh fuck if I know.” a brilliant smile lit up her face, and Hana turned away to hide her reddening cheeks, “You didn’t fantastic by the by, that was top tier spy shit.”

Hana couldn’t help but laugh too; at the night, at herself, at the whole mess they’d ended up in. After the last two days, nothing in the world felt better. Yuna flopped down on her bed and sighed contentedly.

“So, anything else? Anything I need to explain or… I don’t know, anything else you need?”

Hana thought for a moment. The gravity of their info hadn’t sunken in yet, she’d save the grave nature of that for later, but other than that there was little else needed to process. Other than…

“You mentioned you sent this to a friend, who else is in on this?”

Yuna nodded, “Yeah, a friend of _ours_ actually, but I might have asked him not to tell you.” Yuna flinched at Hana’s disapproving look, “I didn’t know if you were going to be on board yet!”

“Okay fine, who though?”

Yuna shook her head, “Right, right.” Yuna reached over and rummaged through her bedside table, producing a familiar disc case titled _Synaesthesia Auditiva._

Hana smiled at that, and at the scrawled marker across the bottom of the case, _Keep up the good fight y’all!_

_-Lúcio._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new friend has appeared!!


	7. Seance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions.

A couple days had passed before Hana got a hold of Lúcio, between his own crazy schedule and the varying time zone difference. When Hana finally got the video call request and confirmed it, the first thing she heard was a slew of apologies.

“Hey! It’s all good don’t worry about it!” She assured him, “We’ve all been real busy lately.”

The hint of a smile Lúcio (almost perpetually) had slipped away, replaced by a sheepish expression and a hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I heard about that. I’m really sorry for you guys, it’s always rough losing a comrade like that.”

He gave her a knowing look. With his cheery demeanor, she often forgot that he was a lifelong revolutionary; a combat medic as much as a musician.

Hana only nodded in response, she’d had the condolences conversation plenty in the last few days, and didn’t fancy having it again. Thankfully, Lúcio seemed to notice this and changed the subject.

“So, how’s old Lieutenant Lee been doing? Still got her nose to the grindstone?”

Hana snorted and rolled her eyes, “Only always. This whole… situation has got us both paranoid, but she’s spent almost every waking hour monitoring shit, making sure no one’s caught on.” She turned her head to her left, as if Yuna could hear her through the wall, “It’s not exactly helping the whole ‘act natural’ thing.”

“Yeah, you first few covert ops are always gonna be the scariest shit on the planet.” He nodded, “Y’all did pretty damn good though! Way better than my first few!”

Hana shook her head, “I don’t know about all that, we only got through by the skin of our teeth, and I don’t even really understand what all the data means yet.”

“That’s what your contacts,”’ He pointed to himself, “Are for.”

Hana rolled her eyes, “So what’s your synopsis, Yuna said you could give me a better read than she could.”

He nodded again and clacked away at his keyboard for a moment, causing a few diagrams to pop up on Hana’s end. They were the same lists of “donors” that she had seen during she and Yuna’s incursion.

Lúcio sighed, “Now I could talk about everything wrong with Vishkar all day long, and it’s bad that they’re here, but my big worry is Oasis and Min Tian.”

"One cartoonishly nefarious group of scientists and the largest weapons company in Asia." He frowned, "That's a lot."

Two logos appeared on the screen: the twirled lines of Oasis, and several black bars forming a stick figure that she assumed to be Min Tian.

“I also ran the data package Yuna sent me through… an associate as soon as I got it, so I might already have another lead for you.”

Hana nodded for him to continue, partly eager and partly terrified.

A map of Korea popped up beside the logos, and Lúcio’s facecam shrunk to compensate. The map zoomed in, past where the northern border used to be, into an unremarkable part of a city Hana didn’t recognize the name of. _Another creepy warehouse in the middle of nowhere, huh?_

“Alright, if you wanna really fuck them over with some dirt, you’re gonna find it here.” His face again grew serious. “That said… I have a really bad feeling about what you guys are getting into, these are big players.”

Hana rolled her eyes, “It can’t be that much harder than breaking into a warehouse owned by the same elite military force we work for.”

Lúcio gave a nervous laugh and shook his head, “Maybe, maybe. All the same, you two really need to be careful, this is deep shit.”

Hana groaned, “Gods, you sound like Yuna!”

“Well, makes me feel a bit better if she’s being the voice of reason.” He gave a devilish smile, “Speaking of which-”

“Don’t start.”

“You didn’t even hear me out yet!”

Hana held up a finger to the screen and shook her head, “No we are not, you have asked this every time we’ve talked, the answer is still no.”

“Oh come on! Just ask her out already!”

Hana crossed her arms and looked away, heat rising to her cheeks. “Lúcio! It’s not… I don’t… Ugh!”

_Is it really that obvious?_

_Yes, of course it is, with you leering at her all the time. Fucking disgus-_

_Okay! Stop, not right now! Self loathing later! Work now!_

Lúcio, unhelpfully, still had the same annoying smile. Hana decided to simply ignore him.

“Anything else?”

Lúcio looked hurt, and placed a hand to his chest feigned offense, “So businesslike Ms. Song.” He shrugged, “Nope. Get data, get out, expose a multi-million dollar scam of the military industrial complex, simple.”

 

The two said their goodbyes and made a few promises to speak later that were only half empty (life of the revolutionary tended to work that way), and Hana retired to the comfort of her bed, trying not to think about Yuna. Her… friend was undoubtedly busying herself any unhealthy amount on the other side of the shared wall. If she closed her eyes and listened closely, she could almost here the clacking away of keys, and sighing between exhausted breaths.

 

* * *

  
The following morning was as uneventful as the last several that preceded it. The same tense quiet that had Hana and Yuna far too on edge, though thankfully no one seemed to notice their paranoia. The rest of the team had almost entirely retreated into themselves to mourn. Kyung-soo had been drinking since the hospital discharged him, Seung-hwa never seemed to be fully present, and Myung acted as if nothing had happened, busying herself with various trivialities. Only Dae-hyun had noticed the difference in Hana and Yuna’s behavior.

He had asked Hana several times, growing more and more insistent, when Hana finally convinced Yuna to let him in on what was going on. It had required cornering him in the hangar, and had been a hard sell at first, but eventually, after seeing the data, horrified comprehension dawned on him.

“So, we really are in the shit.”

Yuna nodded solemnly.

Dae-hyun sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, you let me know. I might not be a big celebrity but I still have some ‘contacts.’”

Hana gave a half-hearted laugh, “You mean that guy you dated who turned out to be a mob boss?”

“Well… maybe. He and I are still on pretty good terms,” Dae-hyun huffed, looking indignant, “And besides, he still owes me a few favors I could cash in on.”

“Gross! I don’t wanna hear about your favors!” Hana gave a genuine laugh, especially as Dae-hyun failed to form a retort, and left even more indignantly.

“That went pretty well I think.” Hana turned to Yuna, “Didn’t accuse us of treason, that’s a win.”

Yuna let out a long sigh, “Yeah, suppose so.”

Hana gave her a puzzled look, “What’s up?”

Yuna shook her head, “Nothing, just have some stuff I need to get done.”

She turned and made to leave the hangar. _Probably to comb through all of her feeds again. I’d tell her off for it, if it wouldn’t be so hypocritical._ Her eyes followed her companion, seeing the way Yuna’s shoulders hung so dejectedly, how even her gait seemed resigned. She looked smaller, which in turn made Hana feel miniscule.

 _We just can’t let things be, huh Hana?_ She thought to herself, right before running after Yuna, who didn’t seem to notice her walking up beside her.

“Hey, Yuna.”  

No reaction. Hana stepped in front of her and held out a hand in front of her, as if to hold her back. “What’s wrong, you seem… off.”

Yuna looked at her with uncomprehending eyes, their gleaming copper dulled. “It’s-”

“Don’t you say it’s nothing, despite popular opinion I’m not an idiot,” Hana stared her down. Her voice was unusually firm; insistent in a way she didn’t know she could be. “I’m not buying it, and when I was being off you called me on it. So what’s wrong?”

Yuna looked away for a moment, thinking. When she looked back, all she gave Hana was a nod, and a motion to follow as she walked past her.

Hana followed behind, now confused and unsteady in her projected confidence. _That wasn’t too… forward isn’t the right word… Fuck, I don’t know, weird?_

The two stepped into the common area, still barren, and past it into Yuna’s room. They shut the door behind them and stood opposed one another; Hana with a look of expectation, and Yuna with one of dread. The latter plopped down onto her bunk and retrieved her laptop. She searched through it for a moment, then spun it around for Hana to see. She only needed to read the title to understand.

 

**_Eulogy of Junior Lieutenant Jae-eun Kwon_ **

 

Yuna leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, looking exhausted. “I’m his superior officer, it’s only right that I give one.”

“Yuna, I-” Hana searched for some consoling words, but nothing she thought up sounded right. After a pause, she sat beside her on the bunk, tentatively laying a hand against her arm. They stayed like that for what could have only been minutes, but felt like ages to Hana, as she tried to think of some better comfort.

Until her thoughts were interrupted by a barely audible, “I’m sorry.”

Hana looked to Yuna, whose gaze was avoiding her’s. “Wait, what? Why are you apologizing?”

Yuna stayed silent for a moment. Her voice shook as she finally replied “I’m the leader of this team, I’m supposed to guide you all, to prepare you, to watch over you,” she sighed deeply and hung her head, hiding her face behind a curtain of dark hair. “I am supposed to keep you safe.”

Hana was at a loss. She’d never seen Yuna so… despondent. In the many, many years of knowing one another, Yuna was always reserved, stoic even.

But the Yuna before her simply wilted, and Hana could feel her heart snap in two as she watched. _Say Something! Something! Anything!_

“You can’t blame what happened on yourself-”

“It’s not about blame!” Hana flinched back as Yuna’s voice rose, “It’s about responsibility! And that falls to me! I need to keep you safe! I need…”

Yuna held a hand to her mouth as she trailed off.

“Yuna,” Hana placed her hand against her friends arm again, gently, ready to retract it at any sign of its presence being unwanted. “You have kept us safe, you have prepared us. You’ve done absolutely everything you could have done and more! There’s nothing else any of us could- or would ask of you!”

Yuna stood and faced away from her, “It’s… damn it all, you don’t get it.”

“Then help me get it!” Hana stood to face Yuna, her own voice rising now.

Yuna met her glare, but gave no resistance to it. Yuna yielded, and Hana hated herself for making her. “I shouldn’t have lead you all, I certainly shouldn’t be now.”

“Yuna-”

“No, Hana.” She held out a hand in protest, “Don’t defend me. I am not fit to for this command. I’ve run off when I was needed most, I’m planning treason for fucks sake, and I…” Her voice lowered, a desperate tone entering it, “I’m so glad it wasn’t you, and that’s absolutely wretched of me.”

Whatever reservation Hana had left her, as tears began spilling from her eyes and she threw her arms around Yuna’s neck, burying her face in her shoulder. Yuna held her to her, even as Hana shook with sobs.

The same doubts and fears and uncertainties threatened to rise up in Hana’s mind. To tell her to pull back, to avoid this, that she was wrong and taking advantage and a monster for it. None of it seemed to matter, as the part of her that needed Yuna’s arms around her was the loudest, and the other thoughts faded to the background.

She couldn’t have said how long they stayed like that, simply holding one another. At some point they shifted onto her bunk, and at some later point Hana found herself curled up against Yuna, who’s breathing was growing slower and slower. It was rhythmic, peaceful in a way that threw weariness over Hana like a freshly laundered blanket. In moments, she found herself drifting off with her head lying on Yuna’s shoulder, and she could’ve sworn her companions arm pulled her closer before her mind finally succumbed to sleep.


End file.
